How Far Is Too Far? Modern Pet Memorials and the Psychology of Grief
Losing a dog leaves a quiet space
Anyone who’s shared their life with a dog knows the feeling. The lead still hangs by the door. The routine lingers. You still half-listen for paws on the floor that will never come.
For many owners, losing a dog isn’t “just a pet loss”. Psychological research consistently shows that grief after a dog dies can mirror the intensity of losing a close human family member. Dogs are attachment figures, routine anchors, and emotional regulators all rolled into one furry package.
So it’s no surprise that how we remember them is changing.
Pickles’ Aside: You organised your entire life around my walk schedule. Of course, the house feels weird now.
Why memorials are becoming more personal
Dogs are no longer background characters in our lives. They’re family. That cultural shift brings a few unavoidable changes:
- Deeper grief, because the bond is stronger
- Fewer shared rituals, as pet loss is still often brushed off
- A search for meaning, not just closure
This type of loss is often described as disenfranchised grief. It’s real grief that doesn’t always get recognised or supported. Memorials can help when they’re chosen thoughtfully and without pressure.
The freeze-drying story that lit the internet on fire
The recent explosion of debate around pet memorials wasn’t theoretical. It was very real, very personal, and very public.
Influencer Chloe Chung shared that she had chosen to freeze-dry her dog, MisTricks, after losing her to lymphoma. Rather than cremation, she wanted her dog to remain at home, in the space they shared.
The response was immediate and intense.
Some people described it as beautiful.
Others found it deeply uncomfortable.
A loud portion of the internet decided grief needed policing.
What often got lost in the noise was the reality: this wasn’t a stunt or shock tactic. It was a personal bereavement decision that became public by accident.
Pickles’ Aside: I die once, and suddenly everyone’s got a hot take.
Where it gets complicated
Freeze-drying sits right on the fault line between comfort and discomfort.
Unlike traditional memorials, it keeps the dog physically recognisable. That familiarity can feel grounding for some people, and overwhelming for others. Grief specialists tend to agree on one thing: the issue isn’t the method, it’s the impact over time.
Questions worth gently asking include:
- Does this help the owner heal, or keep them anchored to loss?
- Is the focus on the dog’s life, or the moment of death?
- Can the memorial evolve as grief changes?
There’s no universal answer here. Context matters. Personality matters. Mental health matters.
Freeze-Drying vs Taxidermy: Let’s Myth-Bust This Properly
A lot of the outrage around the influencer story came from one word being used incorrectly: taxidermy. So let’s clear this up.
Myth 1: Freeze-drying is the same as taxidermy
Nope. Taxidermy removes the skin and rebuilds the animal over a man-made form. Freeze-drying preserves the actual body by removing moisture through freezing and vacuum dehydration. Nothing is hollowed out or rebuilt.
Myth 2: It’s done for display or shock value
For most owners who choose it, freeze-drying isn’t about showing anything off. It’s about familiarity and presence, not performance.
Myth 3: It’s illegal or unsafe
Freeze-drying is a legitimate preservation method offered by specialist services. It’s rare, expensive, and not widely available in the UK, but it isn’t illegal or fake.
Myth 4: Choosing it means you’re “not letting go”
Grief isn’t linear. Some people heal through proximity, others through distance. What helps one person cope might be unbearable for another.
Pickles’ Aside: You lot argue about my afterlife more than you ever argued about whose turn it was to do the night walk.
Healthier ways to remember, for many people
While freeze-drying works for some, many bereavement counsellors suggest memorials that grow and change alongside grief:
- Scattering ashes somewhere meaningful
- Donating to a rescue or charity in the dog’s name
- Commissioning art or jewellery that symbolises the bond
- Planting something living, like a tree or shrub
These options allow remembrance without freezing grief in place. They honour the relationship, not just the ending.
Compassion over comparison
The biggest mistake people make when stories like this go viral is comparing themselves to others. There is no correct way to grieve, and no single memorial that works for everyone.
If a memorial brings comfort, stability, and peace over time, it’s probably doing its job. If it keeps reopening the wound, it may be worth reassessing.
The answer isn’t judgment. It’s compassion.
Pickles’ Final Aside: Remember me for the walks, the laughs, and the crumbs I nicked. The rest is just details.